2010-01-19 - 12:58 a.m.
Hmmmm, I think my entries might becoming less and less frequent. This is probably not for the best, indicates a general lack of emotional excitement in my life...
So I've been seeing this girl for about 9 months now and it's been great by in large, to be honest she's the best girlfriend I've ever had. Thats not to say there haven't been some speed bumps on the road but nothing that was an outright deal breaker. I'll start for the beginning because I'm in the mood to reminisce.
She messaged me first, we talked, I didn't really get her. She has this hit and run style aim conversation, typing a few quick lines before she drifts off to something else for a minute. I of course answer promptly and wait for her response patiently (at least the first few times). "Who is this girl and why does she keep talking to me when she can't even carry a steady conversation with me?" She kept talking to me until I just asked her out to see what would happen. Surprise, surprise she's much better in person. She turns out to be this super nice, funny... no funny isn't the right adjective, somewhere between funny and quirky. I really like her, I think the world of her.
Things are great for a while until we hit our first snag. The sex issue, as in she's never... at this age? Not the best news in the world but I really like her so I make another exception. Well that goes pretty well but well, sex is still a snag. It gets to the point where she is super stressed about it and no one is having fun. It gets so bad she cries at one point. This is the beginning of the next problem. It's been there all along but I didn't notice it until then.
Our overwhelming lack of communication. I never recognized it, I was too preoccupied by the sex or lack there of. I'm still trying to put my finger on heart of the issue, but there is a lack of openness. Part of it is because when we start to have an important talk about a touchy subject she starts to cry. This leads me to simply burry the problems, smoothing things over so everything will be fine... An example of other communication problems, I'd go to pick her up happy to get to see her, full of positive thoughts and when I see her she starts complaining about everything that went wrong at work. With that all those positive feelings I had for her seep away to a general distaste. Another example, we've never stayed up late talking. We've been up late and talked for a while before going to bed, but not once have we just spent the night talking enjoying conversation more than sleep... This last example is more troubling than the others. How can this be? That is one of the most satisfying parts of a relationship and I totally forgot to expect it.
I maybe overreacting, but I'm stopping now. There is probably more but if we don't have that what do we have?
